How to Find Inner Peace and Happiness Every Day

Make sure the pieces of your world bring about peace in you.

The people you share your time with.

The work you are involved in.

Where you spend your time and who you spend it with make up the mosaic of your life.

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
-Annie Dillard

I want you to take an unapologetically bold, hard, honest look at your life. Is it in unison with your heart? Do you feel proud of it and the direction you’re going? And can you make some tweaks along the way to ensure you’re living a life that brings you peace?

Here are three things I’ve been making peace with in my own life.

Body Peace

We are funny as humans. We have the ability to paint red flags pink, to accept less than, and to make excuses for the inexcusable. For years I continued to over-exercise and suffer countless injuries because of it. Break, repair, repeat. That was the cycle I was in. I continued to put myself in a toxic environment that broke me down. My body was in a constant state of fight or flight, stressed out beyond repair. 

Our bodies are brilliant. It wasn't an issue with my body, it was me– my mind. My body was giving me all the indicators of overuse, but I was stubbornly refusing to listen. Over-exercising was a choice I continued to make until I reduced my body to a shell of itself. I didn't realize all the damage I was doing on the inside because I was so focused on how it looked on the outside. 

During the height of my overexercising, undernourished, broken-down days, I went from one doctor to the next not satisfied with what they were telling me. Not surprisingly, each doctor was telling me I needed to stop the vicious cycle in order to heal. Instead of listening, I kept seeking the doctor that would tell me what I wanted to hear. I just needed someone to rationalize my irrational behaviors. 

It wasn't until I finally realized that, just like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, I had the power all along. If I wanted to get to my healthy self, I had to HEAL-THY-SELF. I had to create and reinforce some new positive habits that would gain some leverage to take back my health and my life. In other words, I had to piece together myself in order to absolve myself of the pain and provide myself with inner peace. 

Friendship Peace

The same lesson can be applied to the people you surround yourself with. Your tribe. I say it all the time in my workouts and in my messaging, “Find your tribe, love them hard.” I call my fitness community my tribe because it is built on support, community, acceptance, and love. There is zero tolerance for judgment, shaming, or negativity. 

It is imperative that you surround yourself with a tribe that fans your flame and champions your path, no matter how jagged it is and how much it zigs when it should have zagged. Not being aligned with the people you spend your time with can also cause a lot of stress (i.e., inflammation) inside you that could be wreaking havoc on your health. 

“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings."

I didn't realize the true meaning of this quote until I had a friendship break-up. Life is tricky and can at times be quite deceptive but sometimes you need to let go of the people and the relationships that are suffocating your soul. When we have the choice of who we spend our time with, we have to make sure that they are enriching our lives, not diminishing them. Friendships end. Some friends are just meant to be there for a chapter and not the whole book. And that is okay. 

Inner Peace

The most secure kind of peace and content can be found in the only thing that we are in control of, our inner selves. We don’t own anything outside of us, and if it seems like we do, it’s simply temporary or an illusion. We have little control over what happens to us, but we have complete control over how we respond.  

"To be happy is a choice you make every day. Every hour. And refining and renewing that state is a constant pursuit." 

- Julia Roberts 

I want you to think about these things:

  • Just as you should refresh your goals on a regular basis, you should also take a good hard look at your tribe and make sure you hit refresh as much as needed so that you are surrounded by a positive posse of humans that want to see you shine.
  • The sooner you start the recovery, the sooner you recover. While you don't eat the fruit the day you plant the seed, the sooner you plant the seed, the sooner you'll enjoy the fruits of your labor.
  • Healing starts with beginning. Every day you continue to stay in a toxic place is one more day it is going to take to heal. Let go of what you know, be open to what you don't, and remain curious about the possibilities in your life.
  • Being in choice. Recognize that things don't (always) just happen to you, you have the power to choose. And you have the power to choose how to respond.
  • What brings you joy and makes you excited? Do more of that. Prioritize that. Who brings you joy and makes you shine brighter? Seek more of that.